Showing posts from January, 2016

The learning curve

"A journey is like marriage.  The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
-- John Steinbeck

In my home state of Ohio, after 8 hours of driving you would wind up in another state, or even another country.  However, in 2.5 hours I made it just 1 town north of Nadi to Lautoka -- 27 kilometers to be exact.  For an island smaller than Connecticut, I thought circumnavigating the main island would be a swift process.  Regardless of what the various names suggested there was nothing fast about public services in Fiji.
In the west's hub, I departed Lautoka (pronounced "L-oww-toe-kuh") on the "Express" bus toward Suva.  It was forced to drive 30 kph a.k.a. 19 mph -- instead of the national speed limit of 80 kph -- behind an oil tanker.  The Kings "Highway" -- again, a misnomer -- was riddled with patches of speed bumps through each village... and I assure you, between every town on the map, there are heaps of villages! Passing vehicles o…


"And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-- Anais Nin

I was falling apart the entire drive up the Batavia Coast.  I had been deteriorating for an entire month.

In May 2015 my newly-ex-boyfriend barged back into my life only to unexpectedly leave it again.  When I clarified that I still hoped we could date, he [him-hawed around & basically] claimed he needed time to mull matters over.  He texted me, but never called; kept in touch, but never wanted to spend time together; notified me whenever something ordinary was reminiscent of me, but never mixed me in with his circle of friends; said "love ya" but never rekindled a friendship; slept in the same bed as me but frequently communicated with another female.

I tried to remain patient & not pester him with the one question that interrupted my thoughts hourly: have you decided yet?  During the 31 days of May I wept regularly.  Every time th…